Denial
by ha fan
Summary: Slash Fanfiction. The title is debateable, it may change. Mainly about Robbie in denial about his sexuality...for more, read on..hope you enjoy
1. Default Chapter

Another slash fanfic. To clear a couple of things up. Kim lives at Irene's house withIrene, Tasha, Kane and Kirsty.And Noah and Kit are a couple, living together in the palace. Okay, now that's out the way, hope you enjoy the story...

Chapter 1: Break-up

Robbie's POV: present

"Robbie is there something wrong?"Tasha asked me as I sat next to her on sand.  
"No, why?" I lied.  
"I know there's something wrong, and I think I know what it is." "You do?" I asked shocked.  
"Yeah, because I heard you talking to Flynn about it, yesterday." "Right." I replied, not knowing what to say to that. She had heard me talking to Flynn about how I felt about girls. "What did you hear exactly?"

"I heard enough to know that you like someone else." I didn't know what to say to that, I mean what are you meant to say, oh yeah I have a feeling that I might have feelings for someone else? Yeah right. She continued. "So how long have you been feeling like this?" She asked.

"For a while," I said breaking my silence. I wanted to say a whole lot more but didn't know the right words. And it was hardly something you talked to your girlfriend about was it?  
"And how do you feel about me?" "I still really like you, but…" The words were even harder to say now. I didn't know how I felt myself so how was I meant to translate it to someone else?  
"But…" "I don't really know the right words to say." I said truthfully.  
"They don't have to be the right words, just what your feeling." God was she making it easy for me, she was such a good listener.

"I still like you but, I also like… someone else." I said eventually. That was it I had said it, not that I felt better after that, the look in her face was one that I didn't want to see ever again.  
"Right. So where do we go from here then?"

"I honestly don't know. Hey that's a change isn't it, I can usually come up with something to say." I said trying feebly to crack a joke, this was worse than my usual ones. But this time she didn't even pass on a smile, instead a tear ran slowly down her face. I couldn't stand this, I hated seeing her upset, I felt upset too.

"Please don't cry Tash, it hurts so much knowing I've made you cry. Hey come here." She leaned into me and I wrapped my arms around her tight. Well if I was confused before there wasn't a word to describe how I was feeling now. I knew that I still loved her, and she had to know that. "I still love you Tash, you have to believe me." "I do. But you also like someone else, and I don't think I could handle coming second best to someone else."

"But you don't Tash, you don't."

"How do I know that, I don't know what your thinking. I don't even know who this other person is." She paused."Who is it?" She questioned.

"It's…it's Kim." I said, lowering my head slightly so my eyes didn't meet hers.  
"Oh." Tasha was speechless. After a few moments Robbie spoke again.  
"Tash, can you please say something?"

"Does he like you too?" "What?"I said, looking puzzled.  
"Does he have feelings for you?" "Well, not that I know of. But really Tash, it's just a passing faze." "Are you sure about that?" No I thought to myself.

"Yes." I lied. "I mean, the feelings will go away…eventually."

"Yeah, that's the thing Robbie. Eventually. In the meantime, while we're together your thinking about him. That's not right."

"What are you saying?" "I'm saying… I don't think we can see each other for a while. At least, not until your feelings for him have gone."

"You mean… break up?"

"Yeah. It's better this way." She said, trying to convince herself at the same time.  
"But I love you Tash." I said reaching out for her hand.

Tasha kissed him lightly on the lips before letting go off his hand. "Bye Robbie." As she turned to go, she felt tears in her eyes, but knew that this was the best thing to do. For now.


	2. Untitled

Next Chapter up... Thanks pretty-moon-princess for your comment, glad you liked it. A joint fanfic's a good idea...maybe we could do two point of views or something (like Robbie's and Kim's P.O.V) Or something like that anyway. Hope you like this...

Chapter 2: 

"Hey Rob." Kim said as I came into the surf club.  
"Oh, hey." I said, trying my best to avoid all eye contact with him...god he was looking damfine today...nope...don't go there Robbie....

"Is there something wrong?" He asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, but I don't wanna talk about it. Especially with you." Kim looked puzzled.

"What's happened?"

"Tasha happened." I said shortly.  
"Come again?"

"We broke up."

"Oh. I thought everything was going well between you two?"

"You thought wrong." I said. I don't know why I was taking it out on him, he hadn't made me feel this way about him. I guess it was easier than saying what I really thought. I started walking off again.

"Rob mate." I heard Kim call after me.  
"I just wanna be on my own. I'll see ya round."

Kim nodded slightly and frowned as Robbie walked off, remembering what he'd said to him. _Especially with you_. What was that supposed to mean?

* * *

As Robbie walked back to his house, he saw Tasha on the beach, by their favourite spot. His thoughts of Kim went out the window when he saw her. She was gorgeous, why had he let her dump him? All he wanted to do was to run up to her and tell her that he didn't have feelings for Kim anymore and she was the one he wanted, but somehow, something else in his head was telling him different.

"Hey Rob." Mum greeted me with one of those familiar smiles fixed on her face.  
"Hey." I replied back, but with as much enthusiasm as the thought of chopped up, raw liver.  
"Something wrong love?"

"No, I'm just great." I said sarcastically, snapping back at her. Her face fell slightly which made me feel even worse than before. "Sorry mum, I shouldn't take it out on you. I'm going to my room." I pushed past Scott slightly before heading up the stairs.

"What's his problem?" I overheard Scott say.

I slumped down on my bed, restlessly trying to figure things out in my head. An hour later there was a knock at my bedroom door. "Come in." I replied lazily, barely bothering to open my mouth. Kim came into the room, seeing him, I sat up hurriedly, not sure whether to be pleasedor disappointed to see him. "Uh…hey Kim."

"Hey. Rob,you left in a bit of a hurry earlier."

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"That's okay, but…uh…Rob, when we were talking earlier, you said you didn't want to talk about it, especially with me. What did you mean?"

This was the way to put me on the spot. What was I meant to say to this?That when I'm with my girlfriend your the one i'm thinking about, andthat was the reason I broke up with Tasha? Don't think so.

"Uh, no reason really." I said, obviously not convincing him.  
"Come on Rob. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't mean something by it. Tell me."

"Okay, but are you sure you can take it?" I asked.  
"Yeah of course I'm sure." He said, slightly amused by this.  
"Okay, well, you were the reason me and Tash broke up."

"You mean, she likes me?" I shook my head at this.He was_ way_ off the mark."Then what else could it be?" Kim caught my eye for a moment and I think he figured straight away what it was. "Oh right. You mean... it's you that likes me."

I nodded slightly and shut my eyes, by this time, really wanting the ground to physicallyswallow me up.Then I heard him laugh slightly. Oh great, now he was taking the piss out of me. Fantastic.

"What are you laughing at?" I snapped.

"Nothing, really." He said, but still with that look on his face.I wasn't convinced.  
"The fact that I've just said I'm in love with you was hard enough but now your laughing at me!" I jumped up from my bed and made for the door.  
"Your in love with me?" I stopped at the doorway. Dam. Did I just say that?  
"What?" I replied puzzled.  
"You just said you were in love with me."

"No I didn't." I lied, trying to at least save some of my remaining dignity. "Yes you did."

"Did I? Must have been slip of the tongue, it happens. So yeah, anyway, I have to go. So, unless you want to spend the rest of the day in my room then I suggest you do too."

"Ah Rob…" I ignored him and started rushing down the stairs. Hearing Kim's footsteps following me.  
"Rob…I think we should talk about this…" He was cut off when we both noticed Tasha standing in the doorway, mum greeting her cheerily.  
"Tasha just arrived love, I…" She was then cut off by Tasha speaking.  
"Actually, I just remembered, I have to be somewhere else. I wouldn't want to get in the way here." I cringed inside as she said this, pointedly at me and Kim. Tasha just gave me the most saddened look ever before rushing out the house.

"Tash-" I called feebly after her. Mum just stared at me and Kim puzzled.

"What was that about?"

"Doesn't matter. I'll go after her." I ran off after Tasha, Kim blatantly following me. This was going to be hard enough, without the need of an audience. Hell! Especially him.

All three of us came to a halt when we arrived at Irene's place. "Tash-will you just stop for a second." Instead of letting me explain what happened she just locked the back door on us hurriedly. We saw Irene and Kane coming into the kitchen puzzled, after hearing me shouting after Tasha. "Tash love, what's wrong?" We could hear Irene say.

"Whatever you do, do not let him in." _Him_, meaning me. I never thought I'd hear Tasha use that tone of voice with me. Cliché I know, but it was actually heartbreaking.

"Tash! We weren't doing anything I swear." I called through the door, hoping she'd change her mind and hear me out. No such luck. Instead Kane came to the window. "I suggest you leave now mate. I don't know what you've done but if it's upset her this much then there's no way your coming in here."

"Yeah, butthat's the thing, I haven'tdone anything."

"That's why she's crying is it?" "She just got the wrong end of the stick. That's all."

"Come on Rob, if she won't let you in then there's no point standing here." Kim said, tugging at my arm slightly.  
"You stay out of this." I said, turning to Kim.  
"I suggest you listen to him." Kane interrupted, eyeing us up and down,especially noticing Kim's arm touching mine. I shrugged him off roughly. Funny, I never thought I'd being doing that to Kim, more likely the other way round. How things change.

"I've had enough of your suggestions. I want to see Tasha." I protested.

"Robbie, do yourself a favour and go home. Tasha will talk to you when she's ready." Said Irene coming to the window as well. Fine, I thought to myself, only it wasn't. I'd go home for now, but I'm not giving up on her.

I left, completely down hearted, Kim still following me. Why did I have to open my big mouth to him? It had only made thingsa zillion times worse for everyone. Now, if I was confused about my feelings before, then there isn't a word to describe how I'm feeling now. Completely fucked is becoming quite accurate.


	3. Chapter3

A shortish chapter atm, enjoy. (btw pretty-moon-princess, yeah I'll let you know...I'm a bit busy atm with school and stuff but I still wanna write it.

Chapter 3:

I walked to the usual spot. The beach. Kim sat down beside, my heart started beating even faster than I thought possible as his arm gently touched mine. I sighed, exasperated. I was feeling so confused right now. I'd just pleaded to Tasha, trying to explain that me and Kim weren't doing anything and now as Kim stared me in the eyes, I was finding myself drawn to him again. Now, my thoughts of Tasha had gone, I wasn't sure if what I was doing counted as cheating as we weren't really going out anymore.

What we were doing, sounds very sinister and unnatural but I can tell you, Kim's face coming closer towards mine was anything but unnatural. It was one of the most natural things I've ever done, (well unless you count running round the bush, in the nude natural).

It felt like it was something I did every day, like second nature to breathing. With every touch I found myself enjoying it even more. I know kissing him on the beach was a bit on the public side but, like I said, it felt right, so I didn't feel I was doing anything wrong.

We were both unaware though, of the person that was watching us. We were stupid to think that in a small town like this people wouldn't see us. And even stupider to think that it would be kept quiet. Boy were we mistaken. Summer bay was like one mouth of it's own. People pretty much talked till the cows came home, and me and Kim were about to see just how much.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, momentarily forgetting about mine and Kim's kiss. My thoughts were of Kim, but more of where he was going to sleep tonight. Tasha wouldn't let him back in the house so Irene had to ask him to stay somewhere else. Last night, it was my bedroom floor, which my mum had offered. She's completely oblivious to me and Kim, and to be honest, I don't think she'd be too happy with us sharing a room if she knew what was going on.

We walked into school together, I wasn't sure if this would cause to much suspicion to Tasha but Kim just assured me that everything would be fine. He seemed to be good at that.

We walked into our first lesson together, noticing Tasha already sitting down at one of the desks. Her head was lowered though and as she saw us I could see that she was still angry at me, but this time she had every reason to be. Everybody was looking at us and either laughing to each other or staring in disgust. It was then that me and Kim noticed what was going on.

Written on the blackboard was some scribble about me and Kim getting it on down at the beach. I didn't know that anyone had seen us. Holy crap, this was all we needed. Public humiliation number 1. Number 2 was coming up though, Tasha would soon see to that.

Fortunately for us, Mr Baker came into the room and seeing our red faces and the blackboard, hurriedly rubbed it off. "Sir! What did you do that for? Some people haven't arrived to see it yet." Said one random idiot.

"Everyone take your seats. I will talk to all of you after this lesson and you better start clearing your stories up." I was immensely grateful that he'd come in the room, we were able to sit down with at least an inch of dignity left.

I sat next to Tasha as this was the only seat left. All through the lesson I tried to get her attention and eventually, half way through, she acknowledged me. Although, not in the way I wanted. Her voice came out louder than she'd probably wanted and the whole class heard, everyone sniggered, except me, Tasha, Kim and of course, Mr Baker. "Don't talk to me! Isn't it enough that you've cheated on me with him? Do you want to humiliate me even more you sick pervert."

I shut up after this and turned back to my work, now even more flushed in the face than before, I hadn't thought that was humanly possible until now. Mr Baker raised his eyes slightly but didn't say anything.

"Good on you Tasha, don't let that sick creep push you around." Said Andrew, another one of the jerks, probably the one who wrote that stuff on the board.

Frankly, by now I'd had enough of being called a sick creep or pervert. Instead of crying out loud, shouting abuse at him to fend for myself. I felt water coming to my eyes. Oh crap! Now everyone will call me wet or something. I noticed Tasha out of the corner of my eye looking at me. I couldn't stand it any longer, I had to get out of that classroom. Without even asking the teacher I just got up and walked out, I could hear the others jeering at me as I left. "Shut up you bunch of losers." Kim said in my defence, which, by this time, I was very grateful of.

Tasha must of come straight after me because I walked out to the corridor and she put her hand on my shoulder as I knocked my head against the wall. I turned round sharpish to see her standing, sheepishly behind me.

"Are you okay?" She said leaning up beside me against the wall.  
"Why are you talking to me? You must think I'm a right jerk after what I've done. You even said it yourself." "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to call you that. It's just…"

"You don't have to explain to me Tash. I'm so sorry for what happened. For hurting you." "Do you regret kissing him?" This was it. Time to be honest with her.  
"No." There, I'd said it. "I don't regret it. I regret not talking to you first though." "Well, it was hardly like I'd given you the chance. Rob, I just need to know one thing." She paused. "Did you ever love me? Or was it always Kim?"

"Tasha, I still love you, but… I'm in love with Kim. It hasn't just been overnight. I had feelings for him, I just didn't realise what they were." Tasha nodded, surprisingly looking like she understood.

"Tash- I know this is a lot to ask, but do you think we can ever be friends again? Like we use to?" "I think we can. But it will take time Rob, I'm not going to just get over you over night." "I understand that. I do. Thank you." "So… What happens with you and Kim?" "Well nothing if It has anything to do with them in there." I gestured towards the classroom.

"It shouldn't have to. It's your life Rob, not there's. I can't believe I'm saying this, but, if Kim makes you happy, then go for it. Ignore them, there nothing. If you mean what you say about loving Kim then you'll be true to yourself and let other people think what they want."

"Wow. I guess your right. I know with yours and Kim's support I can do this Tasha. Nobody else matters."

"Then you have it. All the way."

I beamed and leaned into hug her. I didn't know if this was really appropriate but she didn't push me away so we hugged for a moment longer before returning back to the classroom. I remember what Tasha told me about the others being nothing and gave Kim a reassuring smile before sitting down again, him smiling back to me.


End file.
